i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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