I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We had to coat check the pizza.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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