i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize