This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
