he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
