Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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