Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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