and next time when you feel me up, do it right
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
