yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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