What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize