seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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