yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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