Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
