Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
