He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize