Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
