Don't you send me to vm
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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