I can tuck mytits in my pants
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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