I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it was like eating out sand paper
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
