Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
