Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
