Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
