Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
