Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
