we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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