HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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