Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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