oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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