I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
