Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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