She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
