My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
