recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
