TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
