omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
