I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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