If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
accomplished twins. life is a go
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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