Tell her she can't have a vagina
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The ass gains better be worth it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
