I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love having hate sex.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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