Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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