Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
