I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
