her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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