I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
