Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
