Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
