Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
