No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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