he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize