I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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