he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize