she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize