just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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