i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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