If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
