Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
