I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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