she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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