Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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