I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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