hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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