yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
