Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
