FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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