I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
