She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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