kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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