I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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