yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
