I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
