the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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