Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
