Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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