I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
